Coming to terms with growing up...

Coming to terms with Harvey growing up has been a little harder to deal with then I imagined.  Of course I realized that he would get larger, but who was going to tell me how quickly that happened! We've already mastered the first four months of life and he has doubled his weight and added 6 inches to his height. Holy cow! SLOW DOWN! I just got used to seeing you smile, and now you're tossing in the coo's, AND rolling over?!

At this age he is doing something new almost every day. A huge part of me loves it and a small part of me is in hysterics. Harvey was going to grow up, that much I've always known. What I didn't know was the changes that would take place in myself . Sure, we all have some idea of what having children will do to us, but for the most part that all is focused on outside things.

We all know that you're sleep becomes a lot more staggered once you have an infant- but what people don't tell you is that you're waking up because you care so much you might burst if you can't look at them for another minute.

As a parent, maybe you don't shower as often as you used to- but it doesn't matter because you know in your heart of hearts that your spouse and baby could care less whether your arm pits smell and your hair looks like a pack of wild animals have been nesting in it. Each and every morning they will still roll over and look at you with as much love and adoration as they have since the beginning.

As a parent you don't spend so many nights out- but the nights in mean so much more that you no longer wish you were out! I could care less whether I make it to a movie theater in the next 50 years because spending a night at home listening to Harvey squeal and watching Jay just ooze with pride means more to me. A walk around the block with my family gives me more satisfaction than a fancy dinner and show ever could.

As a parent that pile of laundry may get really large before you commit to washing it all- but the dirty clothes mean so much less. Even when you have an extra person that goes through more outfits in three minutes then you used to when trying to find an outfit to go out on the town with.

And most importantly- as a parent, your heart grows to sizes you never imagined possible. You care in ways you had no idea you were capable of. The smallest things that used to set you off are completely meaningless now, and they are meaningless because you now have something so precious that you must care for. Our house is full of smiles, laughes and newly discovered sounds. I have lived for this time. To some people there is that "my best year was...", well for me the best YEARS of my life just started. The best part about it is that until my dying day I will be a mother. I guess that means I've got the rest of my life to enjoy the best day of my life.